Is Being Born a Female a Crime Punishable by Death?

 Earlier this month, I came across a tragic story of a three month old baby named Afreen who was allegedly beaten and abused by her father resulting in a massive cardiac arrest which took her life.  Admitted to Vani Vilas Hospital’s pediatric intensive care in Bangalore, India on Sunday came in with cigarette burns on her head, a dislocated neck, and bruises all over her body.  Her condition worsened by Tuesday and she suffered cardiac arrest, brought on by multiple convulsions, which eventually took her life.  Her crime?  Being born a female.  Her father Umar farooq allegedly wanted a boy and started torturing and abusing her after she was born.  Currently in prison, his wife Reshma seeks the strictest possible punishment against him.

 Even though this is the most recent case getting public attention, killing of the female fetus and girl child is rampant in India even when the educated and rich are known to prefer male children.  Even immigrants from these South Asian countries that migrate to countries in Europe, US, and Canada are still known to prefer male children.  There are many rituals and festivals that are known to be celebrated in grandeur when a son is born to the family.  Even though these families that celebrate a little more or express more joy when a son is born may not be exercising discrimination to the extent of murder, the discrimination exists.  Is being born a female such a crime?

Regardless of belief or religion, all religions preach that we should love, respect, and accept all God gives us.  So, with that notion in mind, how can we love a child of one gender more than the other? The truth is these rituals and beliefs don’t come from religion or tradition, but from a strictly business mind.  In traditional days, families concentrated on educating their male children because those are the ones that would continue to live with the family while the daughters would be married off and become a member of another household.  Today, even that doesn’t hold true.  Many sons choose to set up their own households rather than live jointly with their parents.  On top of that, there are many daughters financially supporting their parents or taking care of them in their old age just as a son.  Today, a child does takes care of his/her parents out of love regardless of whether the child is male or female – and not out of duty or obligation dictated by tradition and culture.

This century has produced as many capable women as men and the difference between their ability to be independent and support their households is slowly diminishing.  But why is this need for male children only not diminishing?  Why are horrid stories as Afreen’s still around?  We may not be able to do much in these extreme cases, but I encourage all of you to take any differences you may be compelled to follow (whether dictated by culture or long-standing tradition) out of your hearts.  If a child is born, celebrate in similar manners regardless of a son or daughter.  If a need arises, feel comfortable calling a daughter for help just as much a son.  Because, removing even these small differences in your hearts and minds will go a long way in eliminating these differences permanently in our society.

Deepa Kaur Walia
Editor, Asia Today
editor@asiatodayaz.com

Actions Speak Louder than Words…

 I am sure you have all heard the age-old saying that actions speak louder than words.  An individual can make promises and commitments or comment on ideals and ethics one should uphold in day to day life, but those words mean nothing if you don’t see that same person living by his or her words.  If someone says one thing and their actions dictate something else, they will always be defined by their actions more than words.  If you hear someone say that they believe dishonesty is wrong but you catch them in the act of lies and dishonest behavior, they will always be defined more by that behavior than what they may have said.

                  As much as I agree with the logic in that way of thinking, keeping the equation to just those two factors isn’t enough.  I agree actions speak louder than words, but intention behind those actions speaks much louder than the mere actions alone.  Take the example of an individual you see devoted to honorable organizations such as charity or spending all of their spare time at temples or churches, devoting themselves to religion or God.  At first sight, this person may seem like an honorable, God-fearing individual that believes in righteousness.  However, if you don’t now the reasons or intention behind this behavior, you are still missing part of the picture.  Was this person naturally this way from childhood because there is a divine light hovering over that existence?  Did this person commit a grave sin, whether intentionally or accidentally, that they have not been able to forgive themselves for and are actually there for repentance?  Or is this person wanting to portray themselves as righteous and religious and has learned that actions such as this will portray him in the light he wants to be portrayed in?  Without spending time analyzing the intention behind that behavior, you cannot come to the conclusion whether this person is good or bad, righteous or unrighteous, etc.  The very opposite can happen as well.  Maybe you see someone acting in a way that is unacceptable socially or in our society and you judge that person to bad or wrong.  As we have all heard at one time or another, a lie that saves the lives of many may not be considered wrong – granted it adds more good than bad to the world.

Often times, people enter our lives and we judge them by their actions – we take their actions and match them up against society’s rules and draw a conclusion that categorizes them as either good or bad.  Based on that categorization, we determine what kind of a relationship to have with that person.  It is important to categorize people and know who can and cannot be trusted, who adds positive or negative value in our lives.  However, that categorization should be based on more than action alone.  Take the time to start understanding the intentions behind people’s actions and you will get a much better understanding of who they are as an individual and reduce your chances of not giving someone a chance that deserved it or giving someone a chance that did not.  A diamond in the rough does not glitter but is invaluable and, often times, you will find that all that glitters is not gold.  Actions may speak louder than words, but intention speaks far louder than actions.

Deepa Kaur Walia
Editor, Asia Today
editor@asiatodayaz.com

Motivation

 We have all heard of positive support, loving friends and family, and constructive criticism adding much-needed motivation in one’s life to help them succeed.  This month, I had an encounter with a new force of motivation – judgmental opinions, anger, and negativity.  You may wonder how negative emotions like judgmental opinions and anger can provide one with motivation.  Well, at the end of the day, you cannot control what people send your way but you can control what you do with it.  As the saying goes – “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”  And the same is possible of those that add negativity to your lives – you have the power to take that negativity and allow it to bring positive results in your life.

 If someone judges you on your actions or doubts your ability to succeed, take that and use that as motivation to push yourself ahead and surpass your own expectations, leaving those with doubts behind in awe and envy.  Had I let those that doubted me or hurled negative criticisms my way get to me, I wouldn’t be where I am today.  We had doubters when we started the inaugural issue of Asia Today man years ago and look at where it is now – a distinguished newspaper recognized for its quality and concentration on local news.  Now, we get contacted by new and emerging organizations to help spread the word about their purpose and vision instead of us going out selling our vision and future.  With hard work and dedication, we have become a recognized name in the valley.

Last year, when a few of us got together to start the first annual Diwali Mela in Arizona, we had people doubting our ability to succeed.  The event attracted thousands of attendees and numerous vendors, impressive for its inaugural year.   Again, all that was possible with hard work and commitment and the desire to not let those that were waiting for us to fail get the better of us.

Even early on in my career, as I applied to the Computer Science program at University of Arizona, I had the enrollment head of the Department ask whether I wouldn’t be more suited in a program that is a better fit for women such as Business or Marketing.  The lack of females in my program and this professor’s doubts in a female’s ability to be accepted and graduate from the program didn’t shake my determination, it only made it stronger.  I wanted to prove to him that not only could I do it, I could do it better than his biased perception of an ideal student for the program.  And, I did – I completed that program in two and a half years, graduating at the young age of 20.

If someone doubts your ability to succeed in something or makes comments or judgments without really knowing your potential, you have two roads in front of you – you can either stew in anger and hatred, detrimental to your own health or take the road of using that as fuel to push yourself harder, faster, and make yourself stronger.  Each time I have applied that in my life, it has taken me to a new height of success.  I am thankful to my family, friends, and loved ones for all the support and encouragement they have given me throughout the years.  But, today, I would also like to take the opportunity to thank all those that discouraged me and questioned my ability to succeed; even if unintentionally, you helped me become stronger and, for that, I will always be grateful to you as well.

Deepa Kaur Walia
Editor, Asia Today
editor@asiatodayaz.com