Too Little, Too Late

With the new year coming up, I am sure New Year’s resolutions are on everyone’s minds.  There are the traditional will get healthier, will lose weight, will stop drinking, etc.  But very rarely do we pay attention to what really matters.  Ever heard the phrase too little, too late?  I am sure you have but for those that haven’t, it is when someone starts bringing about little changes but they are too little or coming too late in the game to have an impact.  Slow and steady wins the race and such is life.  It is so easy to get caught up in life’s day to day activities and concentrate all your attention and energy on this that won’t matter tomorrow – whether that be a job or a hobby or an obligation.  When I look back at where I was last year, a lot of people or things that seemed so important aren’t even a part of my life anymore.  The only constant in life is change.

We get caught up in the chaos of life and think that nothing is more important than this project I am working on, this social commitment I must attend, this volunteer work I must complete and everything else can wait – I will get to it when I can.  That everything else very well may be the people in your life that will or would have stayed constant, had you not neglected them concentrating on things that really didn’t matter at the end of the day.  As those people start slipping from your life, you grasp at straws struggling to make drastic changes to win a losing battle but it is usually too late – hence the phrase too little, too late.  It is better to do little consistently than wait too long and try to do too much in desperation.  When one recognizes what is important to them and what they don’t want to lose early on, even a little bit of effort into those things can go a long way.  It is when we keep putting things on the back burner and taking their existence for granted, we start losing the things in life that should have mattered the most.  And, by the time we awaken from our machine-like state, it is usually too late and the things that would have made you happy are long gone – leaving behind regrets and thoughts of what you could have done different.

So, as you think about what you want to do in the coming year, make your traditional resolutions and then go one step deeper into why those resolutions matter and make more meaningful secondary resolutions to go along with them.  For example, it is easy to say I am going to lose weight and live healthy this year.  But play the game of why’s with yourself.  Why do I want to lose weight and live healthy?  The answer may be because I want to live a longer life.  Then ask why again – why do I want to live longer?  The answer may be to spend a lifetime with someone or accomplish a yet to reach goal, etc.  Then, analyze those answers and figure out who you want to spend a lifetime with or what is the remaining goal you want to accomplish and make a resolution that is more than just an action, but targets the heart of the matter – that could be anything from setting a target date for your new goal or giving more attention and love to the person you identified.

From the team of Asia Today, thank you to all our readers, supporters, and advertisers for another wonderful year and letting us be a part of your lives and special moments.  We look forward to growing with you in 2012 and bringing local news and coverage through our print and digital publication.  Happy New Year!!!

Deepa Kaur Walia
Editor, Asia Today
editor@asiatodayaz.com

Wrong Decisions for the Right Reasons

We have heard about making the right decisions for the wrong reasons and as long as the decision is right, the outcome is usually good and the wrong reasons are overlooked.  However, take the same concept and swap out a few words and it becomes a recipe for disaster – the wrong decisions for the right reasons.  Some may argue that it is not possible to make wrong decisions, as long as your reasons are right.  But that is definitely not the case.  It is very much possible and, more so, people do it all the time.  Some examples are putting yourself and your feelings second to a loved one’s whether that be a spouse, parent, sibling, or friend or staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy because it is the right thing to do, because you made a commitment and you should honor it, or because you have children that may be negatively affected if you decide to split.  All these reasons are right – you are doing it for the wellbeing and love or concern of another human and in your eyes and, maybe even society’s, it is the right, ethical, honorable thing to do.  But, the decision at the end of the day is wrong, because nothing good can come out of making yourself unhappy.

Any decision taken due to obligation, duty, or honor that makes one miserable will bring with it a baggage of resentment and/or hatred that will eat one up inside.  Eventually, one will come to a point in their life that they have nothing positive to offer anyone, including those whose well-being they initially kept in mind when making the decision.  And, here begins the never-ending cycle of negativity.  Negativity and misery both have a domino effect.  When one is suffering and miserable, they tend to take that out on those around them– chances are those around them the most are their loved ones.  This may not happen immediately; you may have full control over hiding your inner suffering but as years pass, the suffering will continue to make you weaker until the strength that made you capable of hiding it no longer exists.  Those you take it out on may initially be strong, but again becoming the receiver of that negativity will eventually grow weaker and weary over time and transfer thaton to others and the cycle will continue.  Initially, when this cycle started, the reasons were pure and selfless but they eventually lead a human down a path that continues to spread negativity and misery, because at the end of the day, we are all human and have a capacity for how much we can sacrifice and compromise before the well fills up and overflows.  Many memorable figures in history have said that you cannot make anyone happy until you learn to make yourself happy.  You give what you receive and what you receive is a direct consequence of the decisions you make.

Now, I am not proposing that all humans be selfish, there be no compromises, and you purposely pursue circumstances where all you are doing is receiving. Like everything in life, there has to be a balance – you must put in as much as you take out so you must give as much as you receive.  If you shift that balance, even slightly in either direction, nothing positive will come out of it.  If you receive more than you give, you will become one of those individuals everyone despises, an ungrateful individual with a sense of entitlement that loses appreciation for what they are receiving because they get so used to it.  If you give more than you receive, it will ultimately hollow you out inside until you have nothing more left to give.  And, since what we become has a domino effect on those around us, it is important to keep that balance for the sake of ourselves and those around us.  Because, at the end of the day, it is by making and keeping yourself happy will you spread happiness and joy and add positivity to the lives of those you care about and cherish.  Whenever you are faced with a decision at any point in your life, evaluate your decision and your reasons and make sure it is the right decision for the right reasons or, worst case, the right decision for the wrong reasons, but never make the mistake of making the wrong decision for the right reasons, because it will ultimately end in wrong outcomes.

Deepa Kaur Walia
Editor, Asia Today
editor@asiatodayaz.com

I hope all our supporters, advertisers, and readers had a festive, love and joy filled Diwali and Bandi Chhor Diwas.  I had an amazing time going to all the various celebrations happening all over the valley during the month of October.  What I enjoyed thoroughly was the number of people that came up to me, recognizing me as the Editor of Asia Today, and commenting on what a great job we were doing serving the community – many of these individuals mentioned how closely they read all the articles Asia Today covers and how happy they are that such detail is present in our newspaper.  It gives us great pleasure to know that all the hard work, time, and effort that goes into producing this publication is adding value to the community and our reader base.

As much as I enjoy the feedback, during this festive occasion where we wish wealth and prosperity for our homes and businesses, I want to humbly request our readers to support the businesses advertising in our publication.  The amount of effort and hard work that goes into creating the publication is not enough to support this publication financially and it is the support of our advertisers that keeps these editions coming monthly, free of cost to the reader base.  I am not asking anyone to go out of their way to spend money they don’t intend on spending.  However, if you truly value Asia Today and are already going out to buy groceries, enjoying a nice dinner out on the town, looking to make travel arrangements, etc., please consider one of the businesses that you find within Asia Today.  It is these advertisers that are giving us the ability to cover all the South Asian events around the valley and bring their coverage to your doorstep, free of cost to you – our readers!  So, if you truly love our publication and want to keep it coming, please support those that support us!

Having said that, I wish all our supporters, advertisers, and readers a very Happy Diwali, Bandi Chhor Diwas, and Prosperous New Year.  May your lives be filled with love, happiness, health, wealth, and prosperity.  With these festivities behind us, many of you may be wondering what is up next.  November will be an exciting month as it includes the much-needed long weekend during Thanksgiving – a time to unwind and reconnect with family you may have not had an opportunity to spend time with during the hustle and bustle of day to day life.  However, before that time to relax, the South Asian community will again have an opportunity to dance, play, and enjoy at the outdoor festival of Discover India – an annual tradition by the India Association of Phoenix to education Arizona dwellers on the rich culture and heritage of India.  It is only in Arizona that one can have weather nice enough in mid-November to host such an event outdoors.  So, get out there and enjoy the Discover India Festival during the beautiful weather the month of November brings.  We look forward to seeing all our current readers and supporters there, as well as attracting new readers and supporters at this amazing event.

Deepa Kaur Walia
Editor, Asia Today
editor@asiatodayaz.com